Monday, May 6, 2019

I Got A New Attitude

    Any significant life decision we make requires us to change. Accepting Christ now meant that I had a new heart, a new life, a chance to be a better person to be "Christ Like" 17 "Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new" 2 Corinthians 5:17(KJV) For most people change can be a scary thing because it requires us to have to exam every decision and choice we've ever made. Everything we've learned throughout life has been taught to us by our parents and the people around us. Wether we intentionally picked up habits or inherited things through our DNA we grow up becoming products of our environment.

I grew up as a "tough girl" with an "attitude", I didn't take anyones mess and I had no problem telling you how I felt. In school I got in trouble for talking back and in the neighborhood I got in fights if someone looked at me wrong. I had a low tolerance for anything that I didn't agree with and often carried around this mean chip on my shoulder. I kept a very small circle of friends and never really cared to make new ones, I always stayed quiet and distant and didn't want to be bothered. As I got older I carried this same attitude, I didn't care if I was at school, work or in a social setting my demeanor towards people especially those I didn't know was always cold, this was normal for me. Popping off at the mouth, foul language, talking back & rude comments; yeah this was me! Now don't get me wrong I had a nicer side lol people that i trusted and had personal relationships with could tell you that i was the coolest person you could meet, but if you didn't know me on a personal level you probably never experienced it. I was very closed off to people that i did not know and never cared to get to know. Its crazy reflecting on my past and realizing that God really caused a significant change in my behavior. It took me being in uncontrollable anger to realize that I could no longer live like this. To carry around such bitterness and anger I never even knew I had, something I thought was just a description of who I was and who I was always going to be. BUT GOD!!!!

At the lowest point in my life I realized I no longer wanted to be that person, I didn't want to be angry for no reason. It was at that moment when I realized I needed to change and the only thing I could think to do was to ask God to change me. For some people change doesn't happen over night but for me I immediately opened up to what God wanted me to be. The first couple of weeks in service I really encountered what it meant to be a reflection of Christ. God did not send his son here to live a life of anger and bitterness and he did not create me to be that way, he sent his only son to take all that away so we no longer have to carry it with us. Thats when it all started to make sense, and then the shift came. You ever hear the expression "a weight lifted off"? That was exactly what it felt like.  I was carrying a heavy load of anger that didn't even belong to me and Jesus took it all. I know for a lot of people it might seem far fetched, like I just snapped my fingers and over night I was a changed person. But for me I really was, I was starting to smile more, open up to people more and really just enjoying the fact that I was alive to experience everything great God had in store for me. 

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