Thursday, February 23, 2017

The Cycle: Are you looking for a Companion or a Relationship?

We've all been down that road, found someone we were attracted too, exchanged numbers, gone on a couple of dates and before you know it you find yourself becoming intimate. For most people finding the right person is a challenge and often we end up repeating the same mistakes and trapped in the same cycle of dating. I speak from experience when I say "dating is hard" but it doesn't have to be, you just have to know your purpose for dating someone and what you want to gain from it. Are you looking for a companion or a relationship?

Too often people end up in situations with someone they really aren't sure about. At the beginning it was fun and exciting but after a few months you start loosing interest, you wonder if you really care about the person or if it's just convenient to have them around. That's why it's so important to take the time to get to know someone. Find out what they're really about, do they want the same things in life as you? Are they ready to take the next step? If you can't connect with someone mentally, the physical won't be enough to keep you together. Put in the effort to learn everything you need to know about the person your dating and don't be afraid to open up. If your looking for a serious relationship and they tell you on the first date that they're not looking for something serious, WELP that's your cue to keep it moving. Don't settle because your lonely and think you can change someone's mind it'll only lead to heartache and a bunch of time wasted.

The most important thing you can do is be honest, be honest with the person your connecting with but most importantly be honest with yourself. Use wisdom and take your time, there's no time limit when getting to know someone and your gut will tell you if it's right or if you should move on.

Friday, November 18, 2016

What Jesus Christ did for me!

Sometimes we look for life's answers in all the wrong places. We turn to friends for advice, our parents for guidance we even read magazines, social media and listen to music in search of finding the answers to our problems. I can say first hand that none of those options have worked for me. Now don't get me wrong, I don't completely ignore thoughts shared with me from friends and my parents raised me to be the person I am today but sometimes there's more that we're just not getting or seeing.

Ever wonder why so many people are walking around depressed, stressed and have no direction in life? Most of the time its because we don't know who we are. We get to a certain age and our parents tell us its time to be an adult and face the world but we have no idea what that means. I didn't leave my moms house till I was 26 and even then I had no idea what I would be facing. We get out into the world and we're hit with all these obstacles and don't know how to handle them. We make mistake after mistake and try to find things to help us cope with the pressure of everyday life and still nothing works. Then it gets to the point where we give in to the pressure of life or let it pull us under.

I think we all get to that point where enough is enough and its too much to bare, but how hard do you really have to fall before you make a change? Or as my Apostle would say "when will you be sick and tired of being sick and tired"? We all go through things even those of us who are saved and know the Lord, but it's that relationship with Jesus Christ that helps us get through those tough times.  I use to think just having good morals and knowing right from wrong was enough to get me through life. But when I hit those bumpy roads and made wrong decisions I didn't know what to do or how to get through it. A lot of us become numb to the world around us and often feel like this is just how life is suppose to be. But God promised us so much more. Jesus Christ died to deliver us from any misfortunes in our lives, he died so we don't have to walk around carrying all the pain, stress & burdens of life he took all of that away from us.

The way my life has turned around I would have never imaged Id be where I'm at today and I can honestly say I wouldn't have gotten this far on my own. If I had not given my life to Christ when I did I don't know where id be right now.

Tuesday, August 16, 2016

The One He Kept For Me!

Sometimes God waits for that right moment to send you someone special. When your not looking and not expecting it he places someone right in your path. That's how I found the love of my life, after attending church for a few weeks I had no idea that the guy on the camera would be the one God designed for me. Its amazing when you meet someone who's lifestyle and upbringing is completely opposite from yours yet you have everything in common. I never thought that I would fall for a guy who was born and raised in a church & both parents were pastors. Here I am just fresh out of going to the clubs dating a guy who wasn't experienced in having a relationship and was saving himself for marriage. But non of that mattered in fact those were the reasons why it was easy to love and trust him and why I knew he would honor me and our relationship. Out in the world, we learn that experience, lust and sex makes someone attracted to you, but Gods word shows us that obedience and faithfulness will bring us peace and joy with the one we love. As we grew closer together, I grew closer to God and I learned to love a man the way God intended it to be.

It didn't take long for us to realize God had placed us together for a reason. As months passed we knew we didn't want to be apart & everyone around us knew we had something special. It's so refreshing knowing that family and friends on both sides are rooting for you. Everyone could see how we balanced each other out, we were exactly what the other person needed. It only took a few months before we both knew we wanted to be together for the rest of our lives and a year later we said "I Do"

"Love is not a feeling, its a spiritual endeavor"

Because we love God FIRST we know what it means to love each other.

“Love endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy, is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily.

"Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person..."
‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭13:4, 7‬

Love Never Fails

Monday, July 11, 2016

"Change Ain't Change Until You Change" - Dr.Rock

Accepting Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior was the easy part, that's what I had believed and that's the decision I had come to. What I wasn't prepared for was the life style, living holy and being mindful of how I represented myself as a Christian. When you've spent the last 5 years turning up in the club and suddenly your walking by Faith and trusting God a major shift takes place. When I got born again that's exactly what happened to my life, everything I had done before I got saved was no longer relevant I was a new person with a clean sleight and a fresh start.

The hardest part about change, is knowing that some of the things you once identified with you'll now have to let go and replace. I couldn't carry myself the same way I was before I got saved I was a Christian now.  I had to be mindful of the choice of words that I was speaking over myself. Learning how powerful words could be I couldn't speak doubt and lack or anything that could hinder my growth and my blessings. I stopped watching certain TV shows and became cautious of the type of music I was listening too.

I know it may seem like 1,2,3 & bam your life has miraculously changed. But it takes a lot of obedience and strength to give up the things you were use to doing. I was blessed to have a great church and great examples around me. People who genuinely cared about me and wanted to make sure that i was living a life holy and acceptable to God. Sometimes the people we have around us block us from receiving what God wants us to have and most of the time those people are friends and family. How can I just cut my friends off? How do I walk away from family? When your on a different path from those around you there really are only 2 options. They accept you and the life you have chosen for yourself and respect whatever changes you have to make OR God removes them for you lol. In the end I gained way more than what I had lost. My family supported me becoming a Christian and my friends were happy that I was happy, on top of that God had sent me a man I would soon fall in love with and show me how real having a relationship with God really was.

Wednesday, June 22, 2016

New Life, Who's This?

When I first decided to go to church I had no idea what I was getting myself  into or what I expected the outcome to be, I just knew that my life needed to change & fast. I didn't grow up in church, in fact the only time I ever went was on Easter Sunday and that was because my mom made me but I knew I believed in God, I knew there was a Heaven and Hell, I knew that the world I was living in was getting crazier and scarier and I didn't want to get sucked into it. I knew how everyone around me was living and I didn't want my life to end up like that. I wanted more, happiness, a family a marriage I knew if I couldn't figure out how to get those things on my own then God would show me.

My first day attending church was like the first day at a new school,  of course I didn't  know anyone and I had only just moved there a few months ago but I stuck it out and I kept going back, I was hungry for the word and desperate to change my life. I had never experienced someone teaching me about God the way the Apostle did. How he explained who God was and why Jesus did what he did for us. It was like listening to the history channel and learning where i came from and who I really was in Christ. The Apostle spoke as if he knew what we were going through, all our life problems and how there was a solution and a way out of all of it. It was God! The answer to all life's problems, there was no situation or person that God could not fix if they were willing to give their lives to him.

I had been going to church for a few weeks, and my days were starting to look brighter, of course all my problems were still there and my life style hadn't changed much but I was getting up every Sunday morning and attending church, the more I heard the word the stronger my Faith got and then God started to move and work things out in my life, he had sent me something so special I never saw it coming!

Friday, June 10, 2016

Going Back Was Not An Option

So what do you do when your life takes a turn for the unexpected and you lose everything you started off with?

This is exactly what happened to me once I left home. The plan I had FAILED and going back home wasn't and option. I've never been a quitter or some one who just gives up and falls into a depression but I was finding myself dealing with anxiety, something I had never experienced before. I had no idea what my next move was going to be but I knew I had to move fast because I had no where to go and nobody to help. When you find yourself spending the night at a strangers house you realize "this cant be my life".

Back on Interstate 95 heading North I stopped at my Aunts house along the way. Little did I know this would become my permanent home and the beginning of a brand new life. I settled into my new place and as usual fell back into that same routine, working, partying and bad friends. You would think by now that I would have figured out that this wasn't the life for me, but I continued on and for a little while things seemed to be ok until life smacked me in the face. Ever felt like your problems were just too much, like things never seem to go right? That was the path I was heading down. I had reached a point where I was just tired of all the nonsense, this wasn't the life I wanted to live. I knew I couldn't make the change on my own, was I weak? No! But its so much easier to do the wrong things than it is to do what's right. I knew I had to find a way to figure out what my life's purpose was really about, and that's when I decided I was going to go to church.

Wednesday, June 8, 2016

She Took Her Baggage With Her

Sometimes things get out of control and become to much to bare. Growing up in a small city surrounded by the same faces can definitely make you feel like your stuck. I had gotten to that place where I needed something new, a new town, new friends, new job and I was determined to get out. A new location meant a fresh start and luckily for me I had family and a place to live when I left. I remember the day I packed up my Jeep, everything I owned in the back seat. I was so excited to go but saying goodbye to my family was probably the hardest thing I ever had to do. Pulling out of the drive way I remember my dad saying to me "You know you don't have to go" and he was right, I didn't have to leave. I could of unpacked my things and stayed right there and no one would of said a thing. But what would staying get me? I had outgrown the city I was from, leaving was my only option.

On Interstate 95 heading South, I had so many mixed emotions with $180 to my name I started thinking about everything I was leaving behind and if this was really the right move. I knew I wanted things to be different, but how could my life change when I still had all my baggage with me. 12 hours on the road and I arrived at my destination anxious to see what this new city had in store. It didn't take long for me to adapt to my surroundings and before I knew it I was back to the same old routine, working, partying, shopping and making friends with people who really weren't concerned about me. I was in a new city but found myself still dealing with the same problems. I thought relocating would change everything but it didn't, things actually got worse. I moved from home with the hopes of gaining a brand new life but instead I ended up losing everything. I had no friends, no job and the guy I was dating was no good smh go figure. I was right back where I started.